


Pick Up Lines

by J000liet



Series: School Teachers Need Romance Too! [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse of pickup lines, M/M, students are matchmakers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 19:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11812782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J000liet/pseuds/J000liet
Summary: Asahi is horrible at flirting. Just ask his pick up lines.





	Pick Up Lines

* * *

 

“Noya…” Suga sighed. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“But Suga! You’re the only teacher I’m friends with who’s dating another teacher.” Noya whined.

“What about Kageyama. He’s dating Hinata.” Suga suggested.

“Kageyama’s grumpy.” Noya pouted.

“Then ask Hinata.” Suga told him.

“I don’t know Hinata.”

“I’ll introduce you to Hinata.”

“But will Hinata help?”

“I think Hinata can help.”

“Why are we saying Hinata so much?” Noya giggled.

“I don’t know.” Suga shook his head and laughed.

* * *

“Are you Hinata-senpai?” Noya popped his head into a kindergarten classroom.

“Yeah. Oooo!” His eyes went wide. “You’re shorter than me!”

“Hey!” Noya growled.

“You’re the other gym teacher.” Hinata started to panic. “Is Kageyama okay?”

“He’s fine.” Noya shook his head. “I need to ask you something.”

“What?”

“How… how did you ask Kageyama out?”

Hinata cackled.

“What?” Noya was confused.

“I didn’t ask him out.” Hinata giggled again. “I was literally pushed into kissing him by our students.”

“Oh.”

“Just ask him.” Hinata shrugged. “How hard can it be?”

Noya sighed.

* * *

“Nurse Asahi.” Noya popped up next to him at lunch.

“Yeah.” Asahi bit into his food.

“How'd you like to be my special push-up partner?”

“What kind of push ups?” Asahi asked.

Noya sighed and went to sit with the kindergarteners.

* * *

 

“Hey, Daichi?” Asahi knocked on the classroom door after school.

“Yeah?” Daichi didn’t look up from his papers.

Asahi came in and squeezed himself into a desk. “There’s this gym teacher that I think I like.”

“Kageyama’s taken. Sorry.” Daichi kept grading papers.

“Not Kagyeama. Nishinoya-senpai.”

Daichi froze and looked up from his papers. “Suga’s sparrow-boy friend?”

“Sparrow?”

“He looks like a little bird. He’s cute.” Daichi laughed. “And loud. And… not you. You like him?”

“Yeah.” Asahi nodded.

“Hmm.”

“But today… He asked me to help him work out. LIke do push ups.”

“Special push ups?” Daichi cocked an eyebrow.

“Yeah. You know them.”

“Oh.” Daichi sighed. “You’re adorable.”

“What!?”

* * *

Asahi sucked in a breath. After an embarrassing Google search, he realized Noya was hitting on him, so it was time to hit back. He had been called to the gym because someone fell over and twisted their ankle.

After class had ended, it was time for lunch and Noya was planning on eating with the high school teachers he was friends with.

“Are you into fitness? How about fitting my thingy into your thingy?” Asahi rushed out.

“Oh! Sure!” Noya took Asahi’s bento box from his hands and put it into his backpack. “I can carry it for you.”

“Thaaaannnnkssssss.”

* * *

“I like the way you stretch.” Asahi told Noya after lunch.

“Thanks!” Noya chirped and ran off in the direction of the gym.

“Sparrow…” Asahi sighed. “So cute.”

* * *

Halfway through the rest of the day, and Asahi is given another chance. Noya walks by the nurse’s office and Asahi runs to the door.

“Excuse me, I think you dropped something!”

Noya turns and looks and then Asahi see a plastic base for baseball sitting in the hall.

“Oh, thanks!” Noya picks it up, waves, and continues on.

“My jaw…” Asahi sighs and whispers to himself. 

* * *

Asahi showed up at the gym after classes that day and took a deep breath. “I heard the last gym teacher was fired because while the students were running on the green, he would walk into the locker room, go into their wallets and steal money from them.  Let’s hope you don’t break into my soul locker and steal my heart. Or break into my actual locker and steal my money-”

“Asahi, please calm down! I’m not a criminal.” Noya panicked. “And neither is Tanaka at the bar.”

“Who?”

“One of the bartenders at The Ball. The bar in town.” Noya shuffled in place.

“I don’t drink.”

“Oh.”

“Are you really scared of me?”

“No! I’m just… sorry!” Asahi squeaked and ran away.

* * *

Asahi banged his head on the table of Daichi’s apartment.

“I hope you know I canceled boys night for this panic attack.” Daichi teased.

“I tried to flirt.” Asahi banged his head again.

“Oh no.” Daichi collapsed into a chair. “WHY?”

“Cause he tried to flirt with me! With that push up line! So I went online and I looked for pickup lines in return and…” Asahi sighed.

“What did you say?”

“The first one was right before lunch and I said ‘Are you into fitness? How about fitting my thingy into your thingy?’ and then he thought I was trying to get him to carry my lunch, so he put it in his backpack. Then after lunch I told him I liked the way he stretched. And he just thanked me and ran off. And then I tried the ‘I think you dropped something, my jaw line’, but he had actually dropped something so it didn’t work. And then the last time I just panicked. It was supposed to end with me telling him that I hoped he didn’t break into my soul and steal my heart but, I started rambling and he ended up thinking I thought he was a criminal.” Asahi started crying.

“Oh… Asahi.” Daichi rubbed his friends back. “Let me call Suga. He’ll know what to do.”

“I made an idiot move and did it in front of students.” Asahi whined.

“Oh.”

“OH!?” Asahi whined. “That's all you have to say.”

“What can I say? If Noya is interested, you two will be together by the end of the week.” Daichi shrugged.

“How can you know that!”

“You flirted in front of students, yeah? Students at this school seem to live to match up pining teachers. I heard whispers about them setting up Kenma from IT and computer science with Yamaguchi, one of the middle school social studies teachers.”

“Soooo…..”

“If Noya likes you back, the students will do something about it.

* * *

“So I think the nurse like Nishinoya-senpai.” One of the students giggled over lunch.

“Well I know for sure Nishinoya-senpai like Nurse Asahi.” One of the others stuffed some food in their mouths.

“Target acquired?” A third smirked.

The group of students nodded.

* * *

Noya couldn’t find his bag. Everything was in that backpack. HIs wallet, his faculty card, his keys to his car. Maybe one of the kids had grabbed it by accident and had turned it into a teacher, but they had mostly all gone home. He was grumbling to himself when he ran into a wall.

“Nishinoya-senpai.”

“Nurse Asahi.” Noya gasped.  _ Muscle… pure muscle. _

“What happened?”

“I can’t find my bag.” He sighed. “I have a spare key at home… but I don’t have my car key so…”

“I can drive you home.”

“Really?” Noya smiled. “That would be great!”

They were making small talk on the way to Asahi’s car, and some more on the way to Noya’s apartment, and then more as Noya tried to find his key.

“Hey, Nurs-”

“Call me Asahi.” 

“Asahi, I have a question for you.” Noya inserted his key into the lock.

“Yeah.”

“Have you been hitting on me?” Noya unlocked the door.

“Uh…” Asahi blushed. “Yeah.”

“Good.” Noya jumped up, wrapping himself around Asahi, and kissed him.

Asahi didn’t kiss him back.

“Sorry.” Noya jumped down as quickly as he jumped up. “Sorry. My bad. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No… I just… I liked it but…”

“Too fast?”

Asahi nodded.

Noya nodded back. “Noted and recognized. Can I ask another question?”

“Will it result in you kissing me again?”

“Probably not.” Noya laughed. “Where you trying to use pick up lines on me?”

Asahi sighed. “Yeah… I’m just… really bad at them.”

“Can I use some on you?”

Asahi took a deep breath. “Okay. Ready.”

“Now?” Noya laughed. “Nope. There going to be a surprise.”

“Oh.” Asahi smiled. “I should let you go.”

“Night, Asahi.”

“Night, Noya.”

As Asahi turned, Noya smiled. “Asahi I have a question for you.”

“Yeah?” Asahi looked over his shoulder.

“Your dad must be a baker, ‘cuz you've got hot buns.”

Noya laughed and went into his apartment as Asahi started sputtering.

  
  


It was a good day.

* * *

 


End file.
